


The Press

by that_one_kid



Series: Fluffy multifandom minifics! [8]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, Dorky avengers, Fluff, Gen, I'm so sorry, Short for a minific, funny fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 15:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4751459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_one_kid/pseuds/that_one_kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha gets fed up with stupid questions. Tony backs her up. It goes downhill. This time, it's Tony's fault. Clint's a little jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Press

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to scifigrl47 for the initial ideas and the press conference scenario.

The press conference had been going poorly. It turns out Banner doesn’t answer questions regarding Hulk’s emotional level of awareness very well. Clint answers anything he’s asked with wild deviations from the question, such as “Oh, no, I would never eat a frog,” The question was about who had upgraded his bow’s laser sight, so this particular answer confused the host. Natasha could answer any question, but she usually received irritating ones about her catsuit or why her being on the team was unnecessary. Tony was concussed, (again), Thor was Thor, and Steve was desperately trying to keep the team under control.

 

“So, Ms. Romanoff,” said the host, smiling. “You moved into Mr. Stark’s tower with the Avengers, all men you work closely with, am I correct?”

 

“Yes,” she said, “Just a few months ago.”  

 

“So, which one did you choose?” the host asked, smile sharpening.

 

“You’re asking me if I’m having sex with an Avenger?” Natasha clarified, her posture relaxed. The other Avengers grumbled, and Tony will swear to this day that he heard Thor growl softly.

 

“No, miss. I’m asking you which one.” the host said, all polished hair and gleaming eyes. Steve started to stand, but Natasha shot him a glare and he sank back onto the couch, next to an angry Thor. Clint let his hand settle on his bow. Not that Natasha needed protecting. He was just gonna knock out the TV camera if she decided to kill the idiot.

 

“Well, it may seem odd, but I’ve always been interested in the shield.” she said, sweetly. “Not Steve Rogers, I want to be clear here. Just the shield.” Clint coughed suddenly to cover a helpless laugh, Steve took a huge gulp of his water, and Tony lowered the sunglasses he’d insisted on wearing.

 

“Is this a good time to mention that I may secretly be in love with Mjolnir?” he asked, deadpan, and Natasha’s gave him a half-smile.

 

The talk show host was struggling to find words, finding himself speechless for the first time in his career. The water Steve had gulped to cover his reaction to Natasha’s “revelation” seemed to be actually in his lungs, and he coughed water across the stage floor. Thor began pounding him on the back, and the already overstrained couch they were sitting on collapsed with a crash, spilling super-solider and god to the wet floor.

 

At the sound of the crash, Natasha and Clint were gone from the camera, dragging Banner with them. Steve scrambled to his feet, but Thor just lay among the shattered wood and puddling water.

 

Tony was grinning widely, and the talkshow host had started to giggle helplessly, splattered with water and tiny pieces of couch.

“What the fuck?” Tony finally said, struggling to keep his voice under control.

 

“дурак,” Natasha said, stepping out from behind the talk show host.  _Idiots._

 

The talkshow host fainted, and Coulson stepped out onto the stage. “You can stop,” he said, firmly. “They cut the feed.”

 

“I’m not shocked,” Clint said, looking relieved. “After Nat and the shield?” Coulson rubbed his forehead, and his deadpan was closer to absolute panic then he’d been since the Battle of New York.

 

“There was a new employee on the cut-off switch. I cut it myself, after the host fainted.” There was a thoughtful pause.

 

“Well.” Steve said.

 

“That’s probably not good,” Tony added.

 

“Let’s go home.”

 


End file.
